


The Trouble Magnet

by donutsweeper



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-03
Updated: 2011-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny is convinced Steve is a trouble magnet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble Magnet

"Come on, Danny, it'll be great."

"No."

"Why not?"

"One word, Steven. _You_."

"What do you mean, _me?_ "

"You. In New York? No. Just no."

"What do you mean, no? I thought you liked New York City. It'll be a great place to go on vacation."

"This is you we're talking about here. I can't even begin to imagine the kinds of trouble you'd get into on said vacation. Besides, the City has enough problems, it doesn't need you blowing stuff adding to them."

"I don't always blow stuff up.... Don't look at me like that."

"Then what will you do? There's no place to surf, and as for swimming? Well, Jersey and the Island are right there, but all you'll do is complain about their beaches."

"You say that like I'm some kind of ocean snob, just because I said one little thing about the Pacific being better-"

"Ah-huh, one little thing that turned into a two hour diatribe. We are never, and I mean never, discussing ocean salinity during a stakeout again. And the fact that you know _anything_ about salinity is bad enough, let alone your insane need to share it with me."

"So we skip the ocean. It's the city that never sleeps, I'm sure I'll find something else to do."

"Of course you will. You'll go for an innocent little jog in Central Park and arrest seventeen muggers even when armed with nothing more than an ipod and a money clip."

"I like my money clip. And it was only nine. And that only happened once. And it was in D.C."

"New York, D.C, what's the difference?"

"About two hundred and thirty miles."

"You actually know that? I can't believe you know that. What am I saying, of course you know that. You're you."

"What do you mean _I'm me_? You're the one with the irrational fear about violence following me where ever I go."

"It is not an irrational fear. I know you too well for that. You, my friend, are a trouble magnet. There is no way I am going to knowingly sic you on New York. I shudder to think of the havoc you could cause there."

"Oh, I'm a trouble magnet now?"

"What, you're offended? Yes. _You_ are a trouble magnet. One big, huge monster-sized trouble magnet. But you are _my_ trouble magnet, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. And don't you forget it."


End file.
